60 Years of Religious Profession… ALREADY!
Yes, already! That's what I felt when earlier this year (2015), glancing through the Xaverian liturgical calendar, on reaching the date of 12th September, I found the list of those who on that day celebrate their 60th Anniversary of Religious Profession. My name was one of them. "My God, already 60 years? How can it be?"
Spontaneously I went back in my memory to that 12th Sept. 1955, at the age of 17, S. Pietro in Vincoli, the novitiate house: Fr Ghezzi, the novice Master, the beautiful new church, my fellow novices (about 35)... Great day, beautiful day: dies rubro signando lapillo!
Then the liceo classico followed in Desio: three precious years marked by the discovery of new horizons and the wonder of human and spiritual maturation.
Then again five years of theology in the newly extended and refurbished Mother House of the Congregation in Parma: a community of 120 young xaverians, plus the staff (about 15). Vatican two started just during those years (1962). With the help of our lecturers, we were following the steps and the novelties of that great historical event that opened up unexpected ecclesial horizons.
Priestly ordination followed and the first assignment: Scotland! I fully believed that this was a "missionary" assignment (though I was not sent to the classical "missions") on the word of the Founder: "No matter where you are sent and what you will be called to do, you are a missionary" (Free quote). I still believe it, of course.
I had no idea I would spend 16 years in Scotland, basically as a formator, but then by necessity covering all the possible roles a xaverian may be called to fulfill in community life... all except one, the vocation director, which I was called to do, many years later, in Sierra Leone, out of the blue.
At the age of 44 I received the assignment to Sierra Leone: I was overwhelmed with joy. This is now (2015) my 33rd year in Sierra Leone. I was afraid I might be recalled to Scotland after a number of years, but the Lord apparently worked things out in a way that I might remain here for a good number of years.
What could I say about 33 years of missionary work in Sierra Leone? Nothing I could sum up in a few words. But I want to mention something that begun during the rebel war, some kind of new spiritual experiences, through which the Lord seems to be drawing me to himself, some kind of new intimacy.
One day while I was praying my breviary, hiding from the rebels, in the bush around Magburaka, I came across the text of Ps. 17: "They assailed me on my day of disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me forth into freedom, he saved because he loves me". I was struck by the whole verse but especially by the last phrase: "He saved me because He loves me!" "This is the Lord speaking to me, this is for me", I felt. For days and days those words were stuck in my heart, and they gave me deep joy.
Again in that situation I understood the meaning of the last beatitude (Matt. 5): "Happy are you when people abuse you and persecute you... rejoice and be glad..." I had always considered that beatitude a kind of corollary, not for me surely; applicable and meaningful for Peter, Paul, Stephen..., but surely not for me, a poor chicken. But there, hiding in the bush, I felt that perhaps the Lord was calling me to keep him company near his cross, though - I admit - it was not deep suffering I experienced. I felt a sense of unworthiness: "Who am I, Lord, to have such honour, such grace?" Also a great sense of joy: "Does the Lord really want to associate me to his suffering which is source of redemption?"
Such experiences are bound to leave a deep mark in your life. Again, in subsequent life, I felt that the Lord was taking real care of me. On several occasions he seemed to have really intervened to save me. I did experience in a concrete way the truth of the words of that Psalm: "He saved me because he loves me"
I understood the real meaning of GOOD NEWS. Often we refer to it, unthinkingly, as Bible, Gospel, preaching, Jesus' teaching... It is summed up in that verse of John 3,16: "God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son..." God loves everybody in a real way, God loves me!
I felt the need of greater intimacy with the Lord, I feel now so much at home with the language of Pope Francis: "The joy of the Gospel fills the hearts and lives of all who encounter Jesus" (E.G. 1). "I invite all christians to a renewed personal encounter with Jesus Christ" (E.G. 3). I feel the need to quote these words in church, while preaching, and try to explain them to the best of my ability.
Another thing I want to mention, which I consider a real grace, a favour, from the Lord, is having understood the meaning of ONGOING FORMATION, the focus of our attention and discussions in these recent years. It was thanks to a book on ongoing formation by Amedeo Cencini. It is clear to me now that ongoing formation is not primarily a matter of updating through seminars, talks, conferences..., but real human and spiritual renewal. And I have been seriously working on it since.
60 years of consecrated life! May God forgive my lack of faithfulness and ignorance. I think I can see now his face more clearly. He shows me his way more clearly. I am so grateful. He gives me great serenity and peace.
Fr Piero Lazzarini sx
